I just found out I have SCS. It is very debilitating. The symptoms are constant fatigue, bad eating habits; loss of appetite, overeating (for most with SCS it seems to be chocolate; but in my case it appears to be either turnip greens, salads or avocados); sleeplessness; inability to concentrate, decrease in sex drive, ability to speak in a tongue no one understands and repeated humming of the Noggin shows theme songs. How did I find out that I have SCS? Pan told me on Saturday. A look of shock and horror spread across my face. How long did I have? Well if it does not lead to the ATS I can expect a long and happy life. Apparently Small Child Syndrome lasts 10-11 years, and at the very least until they start school, whereas Aggravated Teen Syndrome can last a life time if not repressed immediately.
He even has a solution, but won’t consider marketing it. I think he likes to see me suffer. His solution? Why a child safe tranquilizer gun, of course. You would use one dart for the moderately active and up to three for the really strenuous children. Although we figured we would forego the child safe tranquilizer gun for Indiana B and go directly to the elephant gun. I am not even sure if one dart from that would slow him down though.
URGENT UPDATE: Pan just informed me that he is waiting for FDA approval on the tranquilizer gun, LOL.
Indiana BNow you can see where the name comes from. And does that look like a face that is going let me out of SCS in just a few short years? I think not.
9 comments:
You really had me scared for you for a while. Unfortunately, I can't be of help to you as for the ATS goes . . . as a mother of twin boys who will soon turn 18, I have a double dose of that particular malady.
I'm just waiting for the next couple of years to pass so that I can get relief with the TGTAFOOTHR (Thank God They Are Finally Out Of The House Remedy), which is followed by the TAAATAOAPS (They Are Adults And They Are Once Again People Syndrome).
Yechh! I have a double whammy of ACS and ATS...forget using the tranqs on the kids...come give me a shot...preferably with the elephant gun and I'll sleep until I get the remedies mentioned by compooperteacher!!!
That is hilarious- I thought you were serious for a minute!!!!
Love that photo too!
This was great! You had me going for a minute too! I needed that laugh today!
OH god!!! Don't scare us like that!! Oh, and can you send me one of those gun thingies?
LMAO! That was great sis!
I was several sentences into that, too before I began to suspect. Nice laugh for the day.
Yep, you had me going there for a while! The elephant gun should really help with the nap problem you mentioned in the other post!
I detect a more serious problem here Tink. Sounds like you've got a really bad case of SPH Syndrome. Smarty Pants Husband Syndrome has been known to be fatal - although not necessarily for the person with the desease.
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