I dream a lot. A whole lot, in color, in b&w, and all shades between. Usually I try to forget my dreams and usually I am successful. Until recently, all the characters in my dreams were unknowns, sometimes even myself. I rarely dreamed about family and friends. That is beginning to change and it makes it much harder to slip out of the dream mode of thinking into the awake mode of thinking.
Just the other day, I had one about my beloved Pan. And an ex-friend. I have not spoken to M in several years. She really hurt me, deeply, and I do not forgive easily. Oh, back to the dream.
I don't know how I found out, but someone must have told me, that M had continued to email Pan even after our severed friendship. Not such a big deal, why would I care. She and Pan were friends too. But this same person must be the one who told me that she had bought them both tickets to Hawaii.
Again, so what? Pan would never consider traveling with her leaving me at home. That is until I confronted him about it and he told me he was going. I was devastated. I wasn't worried about him having an affair. But just by agreeing to accompany her, he had broken something in our relationship.
About this time my clock went off to take a pill and trying to reclaim the dream and change the outcome was forever lost. But I wonder, what turn it might have taken, had I continued to sleep? Do I even want to know?
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